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Winning the Battle of the Bands. Losing the Battle Within.

Part 3 of a 4-part series on Failing Forward: leadership lessons learned from the rise and fall of my rock band, MAXLIDER

Don’t miss Part 2: The euphoria and the fall.

After a period of growing success, my band, MAXLIDER, finished fourth place in the United States in a worldwide battle of the bands. We won judges’ awards for best sound and stage performance. Recording executives and talent scouts were interested in engaging us.

We had already written two albums and we were involved in writing a third. We had a hot management company tell us they were interested in managing us, but had their hands full with two other bands they had just gotten signed to major record labels.

They wanted us to develop the material for the third album. And so, the real pressure was on…

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The Big Break Up

On the very first practice after the national competition, years of tension and stress boiled over…two bandmates got into a fist fight. Another member, who had a newborn son, left because he realized things were getting real.

The cracks in the foundation had been growing larger, but I was unaware. Each day we were unhealthier, even though our success continued to grow at a rapid pace.

To give us time to get back on track, we took time off. But that was to our detriment because everyone just disappeared.

It was time to face facts. The story of MAXLIDER was over.

Healing in the Aftermath

Have you ever poured your heart into something? It's building and building...and suddenly, it’s all gone?

To be honest, I still deal with the feelings and questions of “what if”. I don’t go to live shows much anymore because there are still some unresolved issues there.

At the time, I was a person who wasn’t used to not accomplishing my goals. I wasn’t used to failure. Or at least not failure that I couldn’t parlay into success.

This inability to recognize the parts of MAXLIDER that were failing led to a lesson I’ve carried with me ever since.

And that’s the importance of trust.

Learning to Fail Forward

In past articles, we’ve talked about Lencioni’s pyramid and how an absence of trust is the ultimate root of dysfunction in any organization.

As leader and manager for the group, I feel I did a poor job of maintaining an optimal level of trust – trust that could have prevented suspicion and that insulated us from some of the trials and tribulations of the music industry.

I realize now that over the years, despite all our stage performances and band practices, the individuals within MAXLIDER grew in different directions.

Yet the goal I initially set for the group didn’t change. I just did a poor job of getting people back on the same page.

5 Failures of Leadership

Here’s a summary of 5 key errors I feel I made while leading MAXLIDER. I’m listing them here in hopes that people in other organizations might recognize them and start making the necessary changes to get on a healthier path.

  • Failure to create clarity and unity – I didn’t help the group establish clear goals that brought us together…and change them when needed. I made my personal goal of getting a record deal the goal of the group.
  • Failure to work through conflict in a healthy way – This would have allowed us to navigate creative differences. It would have prevented those small cracks from starting…instead, they eventually became big cracks.
  • Failure to maintain people’s commitment to the greater good – I didn’t take the time to make sure everyone was commitment to the ongoing goals of the group.
  • Failure to rally the team together when things got tough – Every group faces difficulties at some point. It’s how you work through them that counts.
  • Failure to recognize the needs of each individual – I didn’t spend enough time connecting with each person individually. As a result, I didn’t understand them. They eventually stopped following their leader…me.

Share your story.

  • Have you ever had a dream not turn out the way it could have because of a lack of trust?
  • Have you ever successfully helped turn a conflicted scenario around?
  • What advice could you share with others who are trying to hold together a group with mixed goals and motives?

I hope you’ll share your experiences and insights in the comments below. Thanks for listening to my story. It means a lot. Wherever you are and whatever you’re doing, rock on!

Next up, the fourth article in the series, Failing Forward…If you want to lead a company, start a band.

Related Articles:

The Euphoria and the Fall

How a Rock Band Showed Me How NOT to be a Leader

Let’s Get Vulnerable (again)

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