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People Say the Darndest Things….

woodchuck-info0As you know, we like to have fun at Mavidea and to ensure whoever we hire onto our team likes to have fun, we have added a few important questions to our questionnaire for potential new Mavideans….we thought you’d enjoy hearing some of the responses…

Question 1: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Answers:

  1. According to the sweet lady that lives in my I phone, a woodchuck would chuck as much as a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.  Which I agree with because she loves me for who I am and I believe everything she says.
  2. Well, I would suppose that if a woodchuck could chuck wood, he could chuck as much wood as he or she was motivated to chuck. In reality, New York State wildlife expert Richard Thomas has found that woodchucks do not, in fact, chuck wood, but are known to be capable of chucking approximately 35 cubic feet of dirt when burrowing, equal to about 700 lbs.  That being said, if one were to come across Woodchuck Norris, then the answer is obviously “he would chuck all the wood… period.” I personally would look alive for the honey badger. 
  3. This is a good question you have raised and something that has gnawed at me for years. But, I believe the saying goes, a woodchuck would chuck as much wood as a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. It depends whether he is lazy or ambitious.
  4. Now this is a very interesting question to ponder on but I think it would depend on the work ethic of the particular woodchuck. If he were a very industrious woodchuck, he would most certainly chuck as much wood as his furry little woodchuck paws could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. However, if he were a very lazy woodchuck he would not chuck any more wood than was absolutely necessary for a woodchuck to chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
  5. Well, as I try to keep a straight face while contemplating this, I first would have to ask questions.  It also would depend on how old, skilled and mature the woodchuck is.  But then I start to really come to my senses and then would pose the question, if “if” was a fifth,  we would all be drunk.  
  6. A smart woodchuck is going to chuck all the wood that he or she possibly can while the wood-chucking is good.I’m not sure about the chucking wood aspect, but I do know from personal experience that they can dig a burrow very quick.  That’s why they are also known as groundhogs, which leads to another question.  How much ground would a groundhog grind, if a groundhog could grind ground?
  7. Having never actually discussed this, or anything else for that matter, with a woodchuck I would have no idea.  But as this seems to be one of the burning questions of the ages if ever given the opportunity I will certainly ask.  However, I wouldn’t hold my breath if I were you.  This type of conversation strikes me as the sort that happens when someone is chemically enhanced and since I tend to shy away from chemical enhancements I feel it is unlikely I will ever be presented with the opportunity for such a conversation.  Now, if you would like my best guess I would say that assuming a woodchuck had time to chuck wood and was able and inclined to do so he would chuck as much as he wanted and no more.
  8. As much as his little heart desires or until he got a stomach ache.

We will be back next week with more answers to other thought provoking questions…

PS – don’t forget that we are trying to raise money for James’s daughter (a Mavidean who lost his battle with diabetes and other ailments this past February)…sign up your Wiffle Ball team today! www.jamesjustice.eventbrite.com

2 thoughts on “People Say the Darndest Things….

  1. In actuality, and while including some parameters from the previous posts, wind, ambient humidity, size of the woodchuck & what was served for breakfast would have varying effects, as well as which hemisphere, on the actual totals compiled…

  2. It depends on if there are any female woodchucks watching.
    We all know how boys try to impress girls.

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