Since I just finished listening to “How to Win Friend and Influence People”, I thought I would share a little about the book.
First, don’t let the title fool you. This isn’t a book about how to manipulate people into doing what you want so you can exert power over them. The book is really a list of common sense ways to get along well with others.
In fact, the most interesting part of the book is what is I believe to be the core concept: seek to truly understand the other person’s point of view in all interactions and empathize with them and their point of view.
This goes back to the theme that seems to be running through everything I have been listening to and reading lately.
Only by figuring out how to give other people what they want will we get what we want from life.
The linchpin of this concept and all the principles that Dale lays out is to empathize with others. Not only understand where they are coming from, but to be able to put yourself in their shoes and have an honest appreciation for their feelings.
I would highly recommend listening to the audio book (thanks to whoever saved it on the mavnas). Here is a link to where it is saved: mavnasstuffAudiobooks
Below is a listing of all the principles mentioned in the book.
I printed off a copy to hang in my office and have already referenced it several times when talking to others about how to have better/more productive conversations.
Make it a great day.
Jake
Fundamental Techniques in Handling People
1. Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain.
2. Give honest and sincere appreciation.
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.
Six Ways to Make People Like You
1. Become genuinely interested in other people.
2. Smile.
3. Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
5. Talk in terms of the other person’s interest.
6. Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.
Twelve Ways to Win People to Your Way of Thinking
1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
2. Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say “You’re Wrong.”.
3. If you’re wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
4. Begin in a friendly way.
5. Start with questions to which the other person will answer yes.
6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
7. Let the other person feel the idea is his or hers.
8. Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
9. Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
10. Appeal to the nobler motives.
11. Dramatize your ideas.
12. Throw down a challenge.
Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment
1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
2. Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
5. Let the other person save face.
6. Praise every improvement.
7. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
8. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
9. Make the other person happy about doing what you suggest.
